My life as a Southwest flight attendant

“Please welcome our ‘flight attendant in training,’ Linda, as she comes through the cabin to collect your trash.” 

The great crew on my Southwest flight from Phoenix to Providence today thus announced me as I learned what it’s like to be on the OTHER side of the aisle.

Those of you who know me know that I’ve had a sitting challenge for the last two years.   It’s called piriformis syndrome, and basically it’s a form of sciatica.   The piriformis muscle gets compressed if you sit too long over time, such as sitting at a computer or even long-distance truck driving.   It tightens around the sciatic nerve that runs through your leg, and presto!   You are in agonizing pain.   I’ve had to baby it with pillows, and lots and lots of standing.   Say goodbye to long restaurant dinners, movie theaters, and all-day conferences.  Great way to lose weight, by the way.   Standing all the time.

Anyway, I needed to fly back to RI for personal family business, and I was dreading the flight.   Being couped up in a seat for 4.5 hours would definitely set back the progress I’ve made so far.   So I decided to make lemonade out of lemons.  

After boarding, I went up to the flight attendant in the back of the plane (my new friend, Garry), and told him about my sitting issues.   “I need to keep mobile, so I’d like to help you out with passing out snacks, anything.”   From the glint in his mischievous eye, I knew I had found a really cool flight attendant.    “No problem,” he said.   “I’ll come get you after we take off.”

And sure enough, about 15 minutes after takeoff, I was put into action.    For the next few hours, I passed out peanuts and pretzels, collected trash and newspapers, and chatted in back as a member of the “crew.”   I got to meet Gina, Linda and Garry – all seasoned employees who epitomized to me the great Southwest brand.   I felt 10 feet high when they pinned Southwest wings on my shirt to make it official. 

I learned so much about human nature and the airplane business in just a few hours.    Ironically, I was wearing an outfit that made me look like one of the crew – khaki shorts, navy blue polo, and white socks and white Keds (I always travel on planes with sensible footwear – you just never know!).  Some of my observations:

• People on planes are either great, grumpy, or sleeping.  
• There’s a lot of work to getting the snacks and drinks out on time and to the right people – you get interrupted constantly down the aisle with requests, and it’s tricky to maneuver without hitting sleeping passengers or tripping on bags that spill into the pathway.
• A lot of passengers just don’t listen to instructions – must be that “I’m American so I’ll do it my way” mentality.
• There’s a lot to remember and the job is much harder than it looks.

I give myself a “C” for execution, an “A” for attitude.    One dark-haired woman asked me for a can of water, as I passed by with my trash bag.   When I got the water, I couldn’t remember exactly where she was sitting, so I walked up and down the aisle to find her.  No luck. 

A couple of people asked me what state we were flying over.   No clue, but I hazarded a guess:  “New York.”  Guess they thought I really looked “official.”

A few people were very gracious and smiled big smiles at me when I handed out snacks or went by with the plastic gloves and trash bag.   Thank you to those people – a smile goes a long way when you’re trying to hustle your butt, I realized.

How cool to have an airline whose brand is so consistent from its on-time arrivals to its positive attitude and superior customer service.    I heart Southwest.   Next time you fly, be like me and put yourself literally in their shoes.